Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist Destinee RaeAnnFemale/United States Groups :iconjackanddelila: JackandDelila
 
Recent Activity
Deviant for 2 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 102 Deviations 720 Comments 3,513 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Activity


well through the weekend I have been wearing make up. Each day like I said. As I interacted with more and more people, I noticed more things. 
Weekend thoughts: 
1. I have come to the conclusion that without make up, my insecurities and flaws flourish and I seep deeper into my demolishing self esteem. 
Before i started this I was beginning to have more and more confidence. *Side note* then I started this and... It has nearly vanished... When I don't wear make up. So.. Conclusion of the conclusion: I'm only pretty with make up on. Without it, I'm less than average.
2. A little boy in my brothers class stopped me in the hallway today, he said "hey RaeAnn- woah! I didn't know you have blue eyes! You look different today..." Even children that I see seldom have noticed the difference make up makes. Where I aim flattered by the compliments, I'm also silently being down on myself about how I look without make up. Where make up gives me confidence, it also destroys it. 
I fear I have already become dependent on the beauty products.
3. Talking to people I see and message daily I've noticed they compliment me more and are more aware of my features. I've been having the same thoughts, what is a compliment ends up becoming an insult. (Of course, it's all my mentality. I don't have these thoughts on purpose. I try to brush them away, but they do not leave easily.) 
even when I am not wearing make up I receive compliments about how I look while I wear make up. 

**side note: before I change something about myself, especially physically I always make myself (at least) come to terms with that trait. Or even embrace the trait. Once I do that, I can work at changing it. I feel that if I do this, then it helps me not change so much for others and my insecurities, but for myself and improving what God has given me.
example: if I want to change my weight, first I would learn to love my weight. Once I do, I sit down and think about why I would like to change my weight and list the pros and cons. Then I set out and do it. 
Wicked witch monologue by Bugaboo972
Wicked witch monologue
sooo I post my first monologue on YouTube! It's from sleeping beauty and the beast. The wicked witch storms the castle to curse the new born baby, sleeping beauty!! 
Link⬇️⬇️⬇️
youtu.be/_UyfK40-Wl0
Loading...
so it's that time of year where everyone is making resolutions. Although, mine do not come from the "new year: new me" area. Just timing is all. 
So this particular life change is that I will wear make up everyday. Thinking about it pre-action, I saw no cons. I started this on February 4, 2015. I will document what I was thinking the last few days here and throughout the next week or so, other journals.
Thoughts before the third:
i only saw pros. 
Those pros being:
1. Make up increases my confidence
2. When I wear make up, it will encourage me to wash my face every night (I'm lazy and forget or just don't care too, but now ill be eager to get the "gook" off of my face)
3. It's a life skill I feel I should know, "practice makes perfect" after all. 
4. 

Thoughts ON the third:
1. What is this crap!? How do I use it!?
2. Eye liner is a bitch.
3. Thanks mom for the help.
4. Why won't the freaking lipstick stay on my lips!?!?!!!
i also took note of the surprised looks and reactions on people's faces,some thought it strange I wore make up, which was expected since I normally do not. 
Another thing I noticed were how many People talked to me that normally didn't. Not just guys, girls too. Which made me think about my social habits with people who wear make up, who don't, and those that are "pretty" (won't get into that rant right now.). Conclusion: not decided at this time. 
So the second day (February 5, 2015) I did not go full face. Some friends said they would do my make up for me at school but homework took priority.
so day 3: February 6,2015, thoughts:
1. I need to put make up on. I be lookin rough without it. 
2. Alright, eye liner, thank you for being nice tonight.
3. Do I need to clean my brushes? I should clean my brushes...
4. Well, still feelin pretty damn confident!
I did my make up myself today! 
I think it looked pretty good. 
I also found a con in my plan. And the sad thing is, it's coming petty quickly in my plans. My self esteem without make up is already going down. And it took me a few years to build up. Up until recently, I felt the need to wear my hair over my face and hide. But then I grew a pear and started to think more positively of myself. I fear that new found confidence will plummet. Especially after seeing people's reactions, including those dear to me. Conclusion of the day: make up makes me prettier, a bittersweet pro.....and con I suppose. This one will ride the fence until the ..."experiment" is further performed. 

So so the list so far:
pros-  ~confidence.                        Cons-  ~prettier
          ~healthier habits
          ~skill development
          ~prettier
The color of my tears are forever changing:
Red and blue, fire and ice.
The color changes, as the emotions do.
My tears control themselves, matching my what I feel.
They build up and fall.
They stream from my blue glass
And trickle down my imperfections,
Slowly damping every flaw.
They reflect my sorrows and taunt my self control.
They hurt my self esteem and encourage the demons to feed.
When they're job is done, they drop to the floor, creating a puddle of the deepest thoughts from heart and my soul.
They promise to return, then vanish "au revoir".
The Colors of My Tears
I wrote this one night around one or two in morning... forget when exactly.. haven't edited yet.
Loading...
One of the worst parts of having to grow up is having to figure out what you're going to do when you're a grown up.
well through the weekend I have been wearing make up. Each day like I said. As I interacted with more and more people, I noticed more things. 
Weekend thoughts: 
1. I have come to the conclusion that without make up, my insecurities and flaws flourish and I seep deeper into my demolishing self esteem. 
Before i started this I was beginning to have more and more confidence. *Side note* then I started this and... It has nearly vanished... When I don't wear make up. So.. Conclusion of the conclusion: I'm only pretty with make up on. Without it, I'm less than average.
2. A little boy in my brothers class stopped me in the hallway today, he said "hey RaeAnn- woah! I didn't know you have blue eyes! You look different today..." Even children that I see seldom have noticed the difference make up makes. Where I aim flattered by the compliments, I'm also silently being down on myself about how I look without make up. Where make up gives me confidence, it also destroys it. 
I fear I have already become dependent on the beauty products.
3. Talking to people I see and message daily I've noticed they compliment me more and are more aware of my features. I've been having the same thoughts, what is a compliment ends up becoming an insult. (Of course, it's all my mentality. I don't have these thoughts on purpose. I try to brush them away, but they do not leave easily.) 
even when I am not wearing make up I receive compliments about how I look while I wear make up. 

**side note: before I change something about myself, especially physically I always make myself (at least) come to terms with that trait. Or even embrace the trait. Once I do that, I can work at changing it. I feel that if I do this, then it helps me not change so much for others and my insecurities, but for myself and improving what God has given me.
example: if I want to change my weight, first I would learn to love my weight. Once I do, I sit down and think about why I would like to change my weight and list the pros and cons. Then I set out and do it. 

deviantID

Bugaboo972
Destinee RaeAnn
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I am an aspiring actress who also writes on the side... my hobby! I think of acting as a career and writing as an addiction. I don't write for anyone but myself, so this step, putting my work out in the world, is kind of difficult (as it is for everyone)... Well, I hope you enjoy this!
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

Groups

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconthe-scribbly-fairy:
The-Scribbly-Fairy Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2015  Student General Artist
Hey, just wanted to let you know that I'm switching accounts. My new account is :iconprojectedshadows:, and I'll be getting rid of my old account in a little bit.
Reply
:iconfadedpaper:
FadedPaper Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2015  Student Writer
Thanks for the fave
Reply
:iconleafclan99:
leafclan99 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015
Thank you for the watch! I'm sorry I didn't say something sooner. I've been on a bit of a hiatus thing.
Reply
:icontaranjhook:
TaranJHook Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the favourite! :D  Hope you're enjoying the story so far
Reply
:iconvon-kleist:
von-Kleist Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy birthday! Super Fantastic Golden Platter Cake 3D 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icontaranjhook:
TaranJHook Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for following my nonsense!:happybounce: 
Reply
:iconthe-scribbly-fairy:
The-Scribbly-Fairy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday! :cake: :cake: :cake: :icontardhugplz:
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconthe-scribbly-fairy:
The-Scribbly-Fairy Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Hi! Hi!

Heart YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED!! Heart

:iconsupertighthugplz: :iconletmehugyouplz:

Heart :iconhugplz: Spread the DA love around! Heart :iconhugplz:

RULES:
- You can hug the person who hugged you!
- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

Send This To All Your Friends!!!! (Or Random People – Strangers Need Love Too!!)
Reply
:iconthe-scribbly-fairy:
The-Scribbly-Fairy Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Hello~ :D :la: :iconlaplz: Hope you have a wonderful day!
Reply
:iconthe-scribbly-fairy:
The-Scribbly-Fairy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks for the fave!
Reply
Add a Comment: